What's next?

I want to go back to my initial post and the questions that I posed myself which was the aim of my research and the purpose of this blog:

I will spend the next six months researching and engaging with this topic and seeing how nature and environmentalism can be engaging people from communities of colour. I want to find people in my local community of Brixton, South London to see how they think and feel about climate change.

On reflection, I think that I have been able to stick to the main aims and objectives of my initial blog but I have seen myself shift and starting to absorb and be more considerate to what I was trying to do with my practice and research goals.

I was a bit ambitious, especially regarding the community engagement element, this is only something that I am beginning to shape and I am working on a series of workshops that I will be initiating this summer. I will also be embarking on a residency - New Forest National Park Artist in Residence with an organisation called SPUD Works, this residency will culminate with an exhibition in October 2022.

I have found that my practice and my ideas and responsibilities have shifted immensely and I don’t see myself going back to how I used to work. I won’t be working in colour photography anymore (as not part of ‘my work’) as the cost and environmental factors mean that this is not a sustainable way for me to work. I also have more autonomy developing, scanning, and making work at home in my own darkroom and I have found that I have been resourceful with the work that I am making. I definitely feel comfortable and certain of myself with the avenue that I wish to take my practice.

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Image taken from the series, The Wanderer, December 2021, ©Marie Smith

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I have made a new series of work, titled The Wanderer, a body of work that consolidates all of my research ideas and poses a new aesthetic that will be explored further in the workshops and residency.

I am now able to answer and provide more context to what I was initially interested in researching and will be looking to make the process of my work as engaging and collaborative, I will be using my working methodology from Whispering for help to aid the work and residency as I believe that I have developed some good transferable skills that I would like to expand upon. I will be working on my project proposal and identifying the demographics that I wish to work with.

I now have a better understanding of terms such as nature, sustainability, and climate change and how it applies to my work, therefore I can now start implementing those terms into my practice. I am excited and also feel buoyant about what is coming next for me and my practice. My focus has shifted and I am grateful that I was given the opportunity and funding to explore a new area that seemed very abstract to me until now.

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Image taken from the series, The Wanderer, December 2021, ©Marie Smith

Wandering, Roaming and collaborating with nature

This felt better! This portrait session felt like it had a purpose and I was more connected to the surroundings, I was present in my body and I took my time.

Having a uniform - a long black coat over a long black dress with sturdy black rubber boots helped recreate a character and I felt less self-conscious and more like I was performing a version of myself but was not far removed from who I am. I was thinking of Carrie Mae Weems series Roaming (2006) whilst making these self-portraits, where I was the photographer and the subject.

The images of me looking back at the camera whilst taking my portrait was me acknowledging the duality of my role and the agency I had given myself. The context was mine to navigate and explore. I enjoyed the role, although it was cumbersome to set up the camera/tripod in different locations at one point the heavens opened and it poured down with rain. I had to hide under a tree for 10 minutes with a raincoat and umbrella as protection. Although the tree, given to me by Mother Nature was my main savior.

I emerged afterward under a blue sky that gave me permission to continue, I then found a point of reference, a long elegant tree stump that seemed dead but was very much alive and rooted in its locality. I have been obsessively photographing this tree for a year now. I decided to formally introduce myself to this tree by taking my portrait next to it, my companion and collaborator. Not an object upon me to project my subjective opinions upon bit a feature in the landscape that accompanied me every time I was in Brockwell Park. Equally, I was aware that I functioning now in multiple guises, this character was me, I mean is me but also is an extension of the multifaceted identity that Black women have.

In Sarah Jane Cervenak’s book, Wandering, the last chapter focuses on Weems series Roaming which was made in Rome/Italy in 2006. Cervenak’s notes Weems motivations behind the series:

‘Weems’s interest in architecture and power motivates the Roaming series. But, at the same time, an openness to the sublime moves alongside these secularized meditations. This openness, which arguably could be tied to Weems’s understanding of self as a “woman who yearns”, and as someone who needs a mental break, enlarges the roaming at work in the series. Indeed, given the interplay between scenes of walking and crawling, staring and stillness, Weems’s Roaming suggests powerful movement beyond the physical. A domain constituted by phantasmatic wanderings into a world just beyond this one. A kind of movement that might just provide that light and the break she is waiting for’. (1)

Like, Weems, I was trying to navigate a sense of openness and power/empowering myself to feel freedom, and belonging, and resist the narrative that means that I cannot have agency over a place that I have known my whole life.

I too, yearn to have a sense of peace and healing in nature, that’s why I felt like this portrait felt like a collaboration, for the first time, I felt calm and aware of what I was doing. Walking/roaming both have the same intentions for me, the outcome might differ but the intention comes from the same place.

Weems goes on to identify the roaming woman in the series:

‘I call her my muse- but it’s safe to say that she’s more than one thing. She’s an alter-ego. My alter-ego, yes …this woman can stand in for me and for you; she can stand in for the audience, she leads you into history. She’s a witness and a guide…. She’s shown me a great deal about the world and about myself, and I’m grateful to her. Carrying a tremendous burden, she is a black woman leading me through the trauma of history. I think it’s very important that as a black woman, she’s engaged with the world around her; she’s engaged with history, she’s engaged with looking with being. She’s a guide into circumstances seldom seen'. (2)

Footnotes:

1. Cervenak, Sarah Jane, Wandering - Philosophical Performance of Racial and Sexual Freedom, Conclusion - Before I was straightened Out (Duke University Press, Durham, and London, 2014), Page. 163

2. Cervenak, Sarah Jane, Wandering - Philosophical Performance of Racial and Sexual Freedom, Conclusion - Before I was straightened Out (Duke University Press, Durham, and London, 2014), Page. 163

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Interview with Myah Jeffers - community, healing and connecting with body and ancestry

The conversations I have been having with myself and now with other artists have been illuminating, forcing me to change my biases and the binaries that have framed my understanding of nature and my perception of what is nature.

Questions around belonging and community have been a preoccupation of mine and wanting to seek other artists that have similar concerns and cross-overs in their practice have made me feel more connected. Last week I had the pleasure of speaking to photographer and director Myah Jeffers.

Myah is Barbadian-British, London-based documentary, dramaturg, and portrait photographer. Myah' primarily documents the experiences of Queer and intergenerational, Black and diaspora communities. All of Myah’s work is made on analogue film - medium format.

I had been following Myah’s work for a while and I felt a kinship with her work not only as an analogue photographer but as an artist whose work focuses on mental health, community, nature, and healing. So, I was super glad to spend an hour talking to her and sharing mutual reading materials and experiences.

Self portrait made in Dungeness - Kent, juxtaposed with a tree in Bodiam - East Sussex, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

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With every interview I start off by asking the same two questions, to introduce themselves and to talk about their relationship and research about nature/ecology and environmentalism. The first question might sound silly, but by having the artist introduce themselves in their own words then perhaps they can illuminate themselves further.

With the second question, I already am aware that they have a relationship with nature from researching their work but again, for me, it’s about finding out the nuances and preoccupation with that artist that set the tone for the interview. I also answer these two questions which provides them (in this case Myah) with a further understanding of who I am and what I am seeking to ascertain from our conversation.

Myah’s relationship to nature is a space that can she connect to her body and her ancestry and to have a deeper understanding of community. Nature is a place of healing and is a place with herself but this relationship is constantly evolving. Myah moved to the UK from Barbados when she was 16 years old and this dual experience of the UK and Barbados has shaped her perception. Myah’s practice and research are rooted in reading and she mentioned two books by bell hooks - all about love and sisters of the yam which have provided her with solace and also enabled her to re-position herself with the landscape and also with her own process of healing.

We talked a lot about healing and trying to connect with the physical land, and how the Black diaspora lost their connection to agriculture which has led to the mind-body split due to a loss of engagement with nature and agricultural practices, this is exacerbated by diaspora communities living and working in cities.

Last summer was very emotional for many and in particular regarding the inaction and ambivalence from institutions regarding the BLM movement, not to mention the pandemic - this past year has been very draining and a struggle to reconcile. Myah mentioned lying down in Hackney Marshes soaking up the air and forging a spiritual connection with the earth. These experiences provided her with a prompt that evolved into the series There is No healing in Silence. This piece was made in Epping Forest and provided an opportunity to forge intergenerational discourse, the feeling of touch, and spiritual connection.

This is something I should try to engage with more, the land and the elements of the ecology of where I am. What is my spiritual connection to the land? How can I forge that connection rather than forcing it? Do I need to be taking photographs at every opportunity, probably not if I am honest?

Recently, I’ve developed a habit of carrying my camera with me everywhere, always looking to find an opportunity to document what I am seeing as though this will be enough to know how I feel about a place. I have lost the habit of walking, sitting, and being in the present moment with myself and where I am. I feel this is partly to do with a disconnection I feel with London at the moment and also because I have made more concerted efforts to explore other places outside of London.

Nevertheless, this act of sitting and being at one with the land reminded me that having this experience is just as important as making photographs. The discourse around ecology and climate change is not limited. A valid point that Myah made was that perhaps Black and diaspora communities do not think or use the same language as those in mainstream media in Western society but the concerns and considerations still exist.

Barbados is known as ‘Little England’ and the legacy of colonialism permeates the landscape. Myah reflected on how tourism and capitalism are shaping and fragmenting the natural landscape of the island. The beauty that remains is becoming commodified with places such as Harrison’s Cave. This cave is primarily populated by American and British tourists. The invisible and visible distinctions within the landscape play a part in the segregation of the communities. Myah mentioned tapping into memories of Barbados when she feels the need to retrieve a place that is comforting for her.

Agency, is a word that is instrumental in both my and Myah’s practice and is something that is always at the forefront of the work that we make. We spoke about what this means to us and our practice and how photography has created a space for us to find an agency. For Myah, the agency is a way for her to ensure that she can contribute to collective healing and to the community of resistance. Thus, allowing Black and diaspora communities to have the autonomy to be safe with themselves, with each other, and with the land.

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Self portrait made in Dungeness - Kent, juxtaposed with a tree in Bodiam - East Sussex, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

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Myah also reflected on her experience with her commission from where I am standing with the Empathy Museum and working with front line NHS workers - how a camera is a tool and the most important part of the process is the connection you have with the people. To create an authentic connection is to rescind some control in order that the people you are documenting are at the center of the process. So trust, which comes with constant dialogue with the participants is we talked about trust and how this can impact the final portrait if the trust is not there.

Community is at the heart of her practice, and Myah has definition of a community is based on bell hook’s definition; Community is a space where Black people can exist without fear, paranoia, or oppression. An imperative part of Myah’s work is to document Black communities and how conversations, through talking and through photography can aid the healing process. By seeing ourselves, in spaces, we are able to connect on a spiritual level. Myah is also seeking to contribute to the archive and the experience of Black Diaspora communities. In particular intergenerational dynamics and conversations can prompt further conversations within themselves.

Myah also talked about her gaze and how this is affected by commercial and personal work, and how it has shifted. She is aware of the implication this has on her practice, in particular when she goes back to make work in Barbados. Having lived in the UK now for several years and having access to film cameras, in particular medium format cameras, Myah is having to navigate the implications this has on her practice.

Mental health and wellbeing are at the forefront of my practice and I instantly felt this connection with Myah’s work so I felt that it was important for me to discuss this topic with her. I asked Myah about her research and how as Black people we are holding trauma and how we can find the tools to release the trauma that has manifested in their bodies.

Myah’s main research was bell hook’s sister of the yam, Toni Morrison’s novel Beloved and conversations with other Black women. This included having conversations and doing workshops in Epping Forest which became part of the process for the project There is No healing in Silence.

Also, it was great to know that I was not the only person that found fiction a relevant and important part of the research. Personally, fiction in particular writers from Black and diaspora communities holds an element of historical truth that is just as important and informed as academic writing. For Myah, fiction creates an important moment for Black and diaspora communities to contextualise their experience, this is informed by how we are treated in society. Fiction by Black writers centers our being and existence and fiction can create moments that she can reference and respond to, words are portraits.

As an analogue photographer, I was interested in Myah’s perspective on the process of working solely with film and how the has impacted her gaze and the type of work that she makes - personally and commercially. Myah made the switch to making work in analogue a year ago after she found herself uninspired by the digital process as it not allowing her to slow down her process.

The process with medium format film is more intentional but she is making the move to 35mm and it will be interesting to see how having a smaller camera will impact her practice. Medium format photography provides Myah with space and time to really interrogate her intentions, to look closely, and to ensure that she is capturing the nuances of her sitter. By utilising traditional portraiture photography as part of her practice, Myah is subverting the historical narrative about how Black people have been documented.

It was also lovely to end the conversation sharing the names of some of the artist artists/filmmakers and photographers that we both like, such as Adama Jolloh, Gordon Parks, Roy DeCarava, Khalik Allah, Kahlil Joseph, and Zanele Muholi was amongst the many that Myah referenced. 

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Self portrait collage, Black and white, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

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My conversation with Myah was very illuminating, the process of speaking to different artists has pushed to think about what I am doing with my research and what I am learning. I felt a string kinship with so much of what she said and she has reminded me that I need to take some more time, healing and dealing with trauma.

I thought I had processed this, but my recent social anxiety and living in London have triggered some underlying concerns that I felt that I had resolved. I also think that I need to spend more time, funny enough away from my camera and more time with looking and allowing myself to have a direct engagement with the land. So the next walk I go on I won’t bring my camera. I need to sit with my thoughts and feeling and notice what is resonating with me.

At the end of the research I hope to engage with Black and diaspora community to create a piece of work but I feel that before I can do that I have more work to do on myself and my understanding of nature and my relation ship with the land. I need to look more and make concerted efforts to be more honest with myself.

I need to heal.

I’m aware that I carry a lot of tension and I thought the act of photography would be a relief and to extend it does but it’s not the best way of dealing with every situation. I’m sure as I go back and listen to my conversation with Myah that there will be more for me to engage and reflect upon.

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Self portrait collage, Colour, August 2021, ©Marie Smith