Interview with Myah Jeffers - community, healing and connecting with body and ancestry

The conversations I have been having with myself and now with other artists have been illuminating, forcing me to change my biases and the binaries that have framed my understanding of nature and my perception of what is nature.

Questions around belonging and community have been a preoccupation of mine and wanting to seek other artists that have similar concerns and cross-overs in their practice have made me feel more connected. Last week I had the pleasure of speaking to photographer and director Myah Jeffers.

Myah is Barbadian-British, London-based documentary, dramaturg, and portrait photographer. Myah' primarily documents the experiences of Queer and intergenerational, Black and diaspora communities. All of Myah’s work is made on analogue film - medium format.

I had been following Myah’s work for a while and I felt a kinship with her work not only as an analogue photographer but as an artist whose work focuses on mental health, community, nature, and healing. So, I was super glad to spend an hour talking to her and sharing mutual reading materials and experiences.

Self portrait made in Dungeness - Kent,  juxtaposed with a tree in Bodiam - East Sussex, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

Self portrait made in Dungeness - Kent, juxtaposed with a tree in Bodiam - East Sussex, August 2021, ©Marie Smith


With every interview I start off by asking the same two questions, to introduce themselves and to talk about their relationship and research about nature/ecology and environmentalism. The first question might sound silly, but by having the artist introduce themselves in their own words then perhaps they can illuminate themselves further.

With the second question, I already am aware that they have a relationship with nature from researching their work but again, for me, it’s about finding out the nuances and preoccupation with that artist that set the tone for the interview. I also answer these two questions which provides them (in this case Myah) with a further understanding of who I am and what I am seeking to ascertain from our conversation.

Myah’s relationship to nature is a space that can she connect to her body and her ancestry and to have a deeper understanding of community. Nature is a place of healing and is a place with herself but this relationship is constantly evolving. Myah moved to the UK from Barbados when she was 16 years old and this dual experience of the UK and Barbados has shaped her perception. Myah’s practice and research are rooted in reading and she mentioned two books by bell hooks - all about love and sisters of the yam which have provided her with solace and also enabled her to re-position herself with the landscape and also with her own process of healing.

We talked a lot about healing and trying to connect with the physical land, and how the Black diaspora lost their connection to agriculture which has led to the mind-body split due to a loss of engagement with nature and agricultural practices, this is exacerbated by diaspora communities living and working in cities.

Last summer was very emotional for many and in particular regarding the inaction and ambivalence from institutions regarding the BLM movement, not to mention the pandemic - this past year has been very draining and a struggle to reconcile. Myah mentioned lying down in Hackney Marshes soaking up the air and forging a spiritual connection with the earth. These experiences provided her with a prompt that evolved into the series There is No healing in Silence. This piece was made in Epping Forest and provided an opportunity to forge intergenerational discourse, the feeling of touch, and spiritual connection.

This is something I should try to engage with more, the land and the elements of the ecology of where I am. What is my spiritual connection to the land? How can I forge that connection rather than forcing it? Do I need to be taking photographs at every opportunity, probably not if I am honest?

Recently, I’ve developed a habit of carrying my camera with me everywhere, always looking to find an opportunity to document what I am seeing as though this will be enough to know how I feel about a place. I have lost the habit of walking, sitting, and being in the present moment with myself and where I am. I feel this is partly to do with a disconnection I feel with London at the moment and also because I have made more concerted efforts to explore other places outside of London.

Nevertheless, this act of sitting and being at one with the land reminded me that having this experience is just as important as making photographs. The discourse around ecology and climate change is not limited. A valid point that Myah made was that perhaps Black and diaspora communities do not think or use the same language as those in mainstream media in Western society but the concerns and considerations still exist.

Barbados is known as ‘Little England’ and the legacy of colonialism permeates the landscape. Myah reflected on how tourism and capitalism are shaping and fragmenting the natural landscape of the island. The beauty that remains is becoming commodified with places such as Harrison’s Cave. This cave is primarily populated by American and British tourists. The invisible and visible distinctions within the landscape play a part in the segregation of the communities. Myah mentioned tapping into memories of Barbados when she feels the need to retrieve a place that is comforting for her.

Agency, is a word that is instrumental in both my and Myah’s practice and is something that is always at the forefront of the work that we make. We spoke about what this means to us and our practice and how photography has created a space for us to find an agency. For Myah, the agency is a way for her to ensure that she can contribute to collective healing and to the community of resistance. Thus, allowing Black and diaspora communities to have the autonomy to be safe with themselves, with each other, and with the land.


Self portrait made in Dungeness - Kent,  juxtaposed with a tree in Bodiam - East Sussex, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

Self portrait made in Dungeness - Kent, juxtaposed with a tree in Bodiam - East Sussex, August 2021, ©Marie Smith


Myah also reflected on her experience with her commission from where I am standing with the Empathy Museum and working with front line NHS workers - how a camera is a tool and the most important part of the process is the connection you have with the people. To create an authentic connection is to rescind some control in order that the people you are documenting are at the center of the process. So trust, which comes with constant dialogue with the participants is we talked about trust and how this can impact the final portrait if the trust is not there.

Community is at the heart of her practice, and Myah has definition of a community is based on bell hook’s definition; Community is a space where Black people can exist without fear, paranoia, or oppression. An imperative part of Myah’s work is to document Black communities and how conversations, through talking and through photography can aid the healing process. By seeing ourselves, in spaces, we are able to connect on a spiritual level. Myah is also seeking to contribute to the archive and the experience of Black Diaspora communities. In particular intergenerational dynamics and conversations can prompt further conversations within themselves.

Myah also talked about her gaze and how this is affected by commercial and personal work, and how it has shifted. She is aware of the implication this has on her practice, in particular when she goes back to make work in Barbados. Having lived in the UK now for several years and having access to film cameras, in particular medium format cameras, Myah is having to navigate the implications this has on her practice.

Mental health and wellbeing are at the forefront of my practice and I instantly felt this connection with Myah’s work so I felt that it was important for me to discuss this topic with her. I asked Myah about her research and how as Black people we are holding trauma and how we can find the tools to release the trauma that has manifested in their bodies.

Myah’s main research was bell hook’s sister of the yam, Toni Morrison’s novel Beloved and conversations with other Black women. This included having conversations and doing workshops in Epping Forest which became part of the process for the project There is No healing in Silence.

Also, it was great to know that I was not the only person that found fiction a relevant and important part of the research. Personally, fiction in particular writers from Black and diaspora communities holds an element of historical truth that is just as important and informed as academic writing. For Myah, fiction creates an important moment for Black and diaspora communities to contextualise their experience, this is informed by how we are treated in society. Fiction by Black writers centers our being and existence and fiction can create moments that she can reference and respond to, words are portraits.

As an analogue photographer, I was interested in Myah’s perspective on the process of working solely with film and how the has impacted her gaze and the type of work that she makes - personally and commercially. Myah made the switch to making work in analogue a year ago after she found herself uninspired by the digital process as it not allowing her to slow down her process.

The process with medium format film is more intentional but she is making the move to 35mm and it will be interesting to see how having a smaller camera will impact her practice. Medium format photography provides Myah with space and time to really interrogate her intentions, to look closely, and to ensure that she is capturing the nuances of her sitter. By utilising traditional portraiture photography as part of her practice, Myah is subverting the historical narrative about how Black people have been documented.

It was also lovely to end the conversation sharing the names of some of the artist artists/filmmakers and photographers that we both like, such as Adama Jolloh, Gordon Parks, Roy DeCarava, Khalik Allah, Kahlil Joseph, and Zanele Muholi was amongst the many that Myah referenced. 


Self portrait collage, Black and white, August 2021,  ©Marie Smith

Self portrait collage, Black and white, August 2021, ©Marie Smith


My conversation with Myah was very illuminating, the process of speaking to different artists has pushed to think about what I am doing with my research and what I am learning. I felt a string kinship with so much of what she said and she has reminded me that I need to take some more time, healing and dealing with trauma.

I thought I had processed this, but my recent social anxiety and living in London have triggered some underlying concerns that I felt that I had resolved. I also think that I need to spend more time, funny enough away from my camera and more time with looking and allowing myself to have a direct engagement with the land. So the next walk I go on I won’t bring my camera. I need to sit with my thoughts and feeling and notice what is resonating with me.

At the end of the research I hope to engage with Black and diaspora community to create a piece of work but I feel that before I can do that I have more work to do on myself and my understanding of nature and my relation ship with the land. I need to look more and make concerted efforts to be more honest with myself.

I need to heal.

I’m aware that I carry a lot of tension and I thought the act of photography would be a relief and to extend it does but it’s not the best way of dealing with every situation. I’m sure as I go back and listen to my conversation with Myah that there will be more for me to engage and reflect upon.


Self portrait collage, Colour, August 2021,  ©Marie Smith

Self portrait collage, Colour, August 2021, ©Marie Smith

Interview with Season Butler - we discuss her novel Cygnet, community and what is nature and not nature?

I’ve been doing a lot recently, more than I can process so I will try to do one thing at a time. My research has made a rapid growth of late, elements and ideas that I had struggled to articulate now seem to be coming together and I can question what I knew prior to starting research. It seems as though my understanding was quite shallow but this is an opportunity to question and inform myself.

As part of my research, I have reached out to photographers, researchers, writers, and artists with a particular focus on speaking to people of colour to gain insight into their relationship with nature, environmentalism, and landscape. What do these terms mean to them and these subjects have informed their practice?

Last week, I interviewed Season Butler over Zoom, Season is one of five artists that I’ll be talking to over the next few months. Next week I will be in conversation with Myah Jeffers.

I also have interviews lined up interviews with Yan Wang Preston and Zoe Palmer from the dream(ing) field lab.


Photo taken from a walk to Seven Sisters Cliff, July 2021 ©Marie Smith

Photo taken from a walk to Seven Sisters Cliff, July 2021 ©Marie Smith


Season Butler is a London-based writer, performance artist, and teacher, and recently completed a Ph.D. in Creative Writing at Goldsmiths College, University of London. Season’s debit novel Cygnet was released in 2019 and we spent time talking about her research behind Cygnet and also about her interest in environmentalism, nature, and climate change.

Season was born and grew up in Washington, DC/USA, and part of her childhood was spent preoccupied with environmentalist movements, such as Earth Day. Having a parent who studied herbalist traditions meant that she was brought up in a household that was conscious of nature and plant life. Her parent’s politics/ethics have shaped a mindful awareness of nature and how nature is an intrinsic part of life. Nature is not just part of a rural environment and is not something that is not removed from the city environment.

We spoke about the discourse of environmentalism and climate change, the effects this has on people in the global south in particular, and how capitalism has exacerbated and created uneven power dynamics and structures that means that exploitation of plant life, people, and resources will continue. Climate Change is not the great equaliser and although it is a global issue others are more vulnerable the need for material and pollution that governs our lives are the ultimate means that pre-existing equality is continued rather than address with a way to resolve it.

The interconnection between capitalism and climate change means that we have been walking towards the destruction of the planet and its resources for many decades but this does not mean that the climate change movement is a new phenomenon. Season spoke about engaging in the complexities of the contemporary climate crisis, and that means addressing the intersection between class, race, and age.

Season talked about the history of environmentalism, her awareness of the movement that preceded in particular in the post-war era, and how the movement is in its current iteration has influenced by previous movements and writers. Season cited Silent Spring by Rachel Carson which was written in 1962 when Carson was in her late 40s. There is a perception that people over 65 were not environmentalists but what choices were presented to them - what structures perhaps meant that they were not given choices to take the environment into consideration.

Season also spoke about how the community can be seen as a unit of human survival, a system of people that are considered towards each other and are invested in your survival. Not forgetting the need to thrive even under difficult circumstances. Community is also about being aware of your responsibility toward their survival means that community is not a linear concept and can be quite broad as well.

Season got me to think about what is considered ‘nature’ and ‘not nature’ and the fact that a beehive can be seen as natural but a skyscraper might not be seen as natural although both structures are made from raw material and house a community. Cityscapes are also landscapes and how can I be more expansive with what I consider ‘natural’? We also talked about the lack of access to green space and this got me thinking about why green spaces are so important in cities and how places like Brockwell Park have provided me with an introduction to nature which still continues.

Safety is a concern and for some communities, being in open green spaces might not feel safe or welcoming, this does vary in the context but this can affect your feeling of being from the land and having a relationship with the land.

Lastly, I asked Season what her hopes were for the future and she talked about having effective leadership and finding the most effective ways for us are able to thrive and take action to fight against the essential problems with climate change. To be bold and efficient so that one day the Climate Change movement and so many protest movements can be made obsolete.


Photo taken from a walk to Seven Sisters Cliff, July 2021 ©Marie Smith

Photo taken from a walk to Seven Sisters Cliff, July 2021 ©Marie Smith


My conversation with Season has provoked new questions for me, some I had not considered before and some that I had dismissed entirely. For example, how have I decided what is nature and what is not nature? What preconceived ideas have I been carrying around which has been affecting my practice and how can I be more open to what is ‘nature’ and ‘what is not nature’?

The conversation around climate change is not new and the relationship between Black and other ethnic minority communities is not new either. this is something that I have resolved within myself and I have found enough work and writing to solidify that we have a history and a discourse within this canon.

I now need to ensure that I find a spoke to utilise for myself, a space that resonates with me, and somewhere that I am able to build a trusting relationship. I am looking at the end of this research to make a series about a specific space with societies people and until now I have dismissed London but maybe I have been hasty and I have not given enough time to this concept.


Cyanotype made during Cyanotype workshop at South London Gallery in August 2021 with Alice Cazenave who is a member of The Sustainable Darkroom. The flowers and plant leaves were picked from the Orozco Garden in South London Gallery,  ©Marie Smith

Cyanotype made during Cyanotype workshop at South London Gallery in August 2021 with Alice Cazenave who is a member of The Sustainable Darkroom. The flowers and plant leaves were picked from the Orozco Garden in South London Gallery, ©Marie Smith


And finally to finish off this week’s blog, I have now completed my workshop at South London Gallery and I have learnt a lot of methodologies and practices that I will carry through with. I have already started to develop black and white film at home with my own plant based developer. I have also learnt some more nuances regarding cyantypes, how you can bleach them (using soda crystals) and dying them (using anything from rosemary to green tea bags).

On reflection with my conversation with Season, this cyanotype was made from plants, flowers found in South London Gallery garden, a wonderful juxtaposition between concrete and nature growth around through and in relation to the concrete rather than against it.

So I can certainly find myself urging towards something that I already thought of but had discredited but I think I need more time to decide if I will carry on this trajectory or whether I should become more focused on what is around and in front of me - can the city landscape provide me with more answers than I anticipated. More exploration will need to be done I think before I can answer.

Memories are not trustworthy and I should always remember that, this is all a learning curve

Memories are not trustworthy, I should know that by now.

On a recent trip to Seven Sisters, I went back to find this tree and to recreate a moment that is now over two years old, I remembered the location and I even spotted another previous image I had captured back in April 2019.

However, this elusive tree was not what I remembered and had become something else. This tree seemed to be swamped by a rouge bush and looked smaller and not so - glorious. The tree looked smaller and incoherent. At that moment I felt deflated but also silly as of course why wouldn’t the situation had changed, that’s not how nature works. It doesn’t stand still for anyone, it has its own rules and ecosystem that has nothing to do with me and my photographic aspirations.

In fact, I feel that this has been a good lesson for me and what I am trying to do with my research, I am searching for a place to belong, a landscape that feels familiar and that resonates with me. This trip was not a mistake but it was a lesson for me to be more articulate and reflective on what I am trying to do.

I don’t regret going and I now know that I must be more succinct in my working method, in particular in my search for a place to develop a relationship with, inspired by Roni Horn’s Island Zombie and Jamaica Kincaid’s My Book (Garden), both women have created a nuanced and in-depth relationship with their respective locations; Horn (Iceland) and Kincaid (Vermont, USA) and I am searching for this in the UK, trying to think and see beyond London if possible.

The search continues and I am not ruling out staying in London and trying to find somewhere local but I would like to challenge myself and my perception of the home which has to mean, looking beyond London.


Lone tree in East Sussex, original image made in April 2019. ©Marie Smith

Lone tree in East Sussex, original image made in April 2019. ©Marie Smith


The image below shows some go the 120 film negatives from my trip to Seven Sisters, I did manage to capture some images even though I was feeling deflated that day, uninspired, and overwhelmed by the heat. I have started a course at South London Gallery on Wednesday - SLG Skills: Photographic Printmaking course which is about learning sustainable film practices. This course is being run by The Sustainable Darkroom and the workshop was led by Eileen White - we had to bring our own plant-based developer which I made from tomato plant leaves which are being nurtured with care by my partner - Maciej.

My first attempt was not great (example below) but this workshop after one session has been a revelation for me and has made me realise that I was missing an element to my processes. This is something that I will elaborate on further in further posts but I am still processing what I have learnt this week, but this learning curve is improving my confidence - particularly with darkroom processes and I feel that something is definitely changing with my work and I am happy to embrace what comes next.


120 black and white film negatives developed home made plant based developer, this time from home grown Tomato plant tree leaves. This was my first time developing 120, was very happy that the results were success. Images from trip to Seven Sisters and also from a view from my flat in Brixton. ©Marie Smith

120 black and white film negatives developed home made plant based developer, this time from home grown Tomato plant tree leaves. This was my first time developing 120, was very happy that the results were success. Images from trip to Seven Sisters and also from a view from my flat in Brixton. ©Marie Smith


First attempt of plant based developer processed during workshop on Wednesday 21st July, some mistakes were made but I am still instruct in seeing the results, especially regarding the damaged frames from the film.

First attempt of plant based developer processed during workshop on Wednesday 21st July, some mistakes were made but I am still instruct in seeing the results, especially regarding the damaged frames from the film.

My imaginary garden

A few months ago I noticed this independent succulent had started growing separately from the main succulent plant that I had. I had somehow managed to cultivate itself with very little attention paid to it.

After my surprise (and delight) I managed to root the plant in water and planted it again in succulent soil and left it to grow. It is flushing, and I am happy to see that I was able to provide support and nourishment. I have many indoor plants, as a substitute for a lack of garden and also for a lack of knowledge of how to look after a garden. Reading Jamaica Kincaid has taught me how laborious, expire, and all-consuming it is. One day I would like to have a garden but for now, I have my plants.


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I have also been thinking about how I can create a link from my previous series into this research, is there a way I can link the two and also reflect on my awareness of environmentalism and nature - establishing what it means to me will hopefully create a context and conversation when I speak to others.

So during an exhibition at Dulwich Picture gallery, I spotted these Sensitive plant seeds and decided to grow my own Sensitive plant (botanical name: Mimosa podica). The seeds were soaked overnight and planted the next day, with lots of light and water, within a week I saw little shoots poking through the soil, quickly and the plant has continued its rapid growth (see examples below, three weeks growth).

Sensitive to the touch, any contact with something other than another branch of the plant such as the touch of a finger causes the plant to retreat and close up as a form of defense. Hence the name Sensitive plant. I try not to do this as I think it must be tormenting for them but I have touched it a few times and it’s fascinating to see how receptive the plant is - it will be a challenge re-potting the plant!

I am excited to see what potential this plant can provide - whether that be a metaphor or become a physical aspect of the work - cyanotypes or straightforward documentary photos of its growth. the plant provides a way to think about my relationship with nature, mental health, and environmentalism.

If I can go on and sustain this plant then perhaps this can become a way to connect with others - as this plant can be rooted again so I can share its abundance with others. So excited to see where I am heading with this research, it feels overwhelming at times but having the potential to explore new ways of working in my practice is really inspiring me.


Sensitive Plant seeds soaking in water for 24 hours before planting

Sensitive Plant seeds soaking in water for 24 hours before planting


I rooted the plant on several different pots, the pack included 300 seeds, most of them have not grown but I am pleased with what is growing so far.

I rooted the plant on several different pots, the pack included 300 seeds, most of them have not grown but I am pleased with what is growing so far.



I will re-pot them once they have grown out of their existing pot. The plants are being grown in Peet free soil. I also collect water from left over glasses of water so that I am not wasting water and trying to be sustainable.

I will re-pot them once they have grown out of their existing pot. The plants are being grown in Peet free soil. I also collect water from left over glasses of water so that I am not wasting water and trying to be sustainable.

Reflecting on belonging and the gardens of Jamaica Kincaid

I’ve been reading about Jamaica Kincaid’s gardens in Vermont. Her book is curated with illustrations and refined sentences about her appreciation and relationship with gardening and the American landscape of Vermont; a northeastern state that borders the Canadian Provence of Quebec and has a distinct Englishness that feels familiar.

Vermont is part of the New England region and is the second least populated state in the US. Before Europeans colonised the US, there was a healthy indigenous population that inhabited the area for 12,000 years. My knowledge of Vermont before reading Kincaid extended to knowing about their Senator - Bernie Sanders, cold weather, and about how white the population is.

So it was a surprise to read about Kincaid; an Antiguan-American writer, essayist, gardener, and gardening writer living amongst the landscape that contrasted from her own upbringing in the Caribbean. I found myself easily absorbed by Kincaid’s writing, it felt like I was having a conversation with her and she has created vivid illustrations of the mountains of Vermont, the extreme weather, and the gardens that she has nurtured whilst living with her (then) husband and two young children.

Jamaica Kincaid is a Black woman who is mostly living in a white space surrounded by the history of England’s colonialism so this element must have felt familiar to her as she grew up in Angugia which only gained its independence in 1981 (the year I was born). However, the island and her memories do appear in the book infrequently and come in and out so it’s not really the focus of the book - the garden and her present existence in Vermont are at the forefront. However, the drastic difference between Antigua and Vermont does provide a point of reflection for me.

Kincaid is obviously passionate about gardening and is dedicated and appreciative of the cycle of nature and the abundance that her garden provides for her. The solace and a purpose for her, but also practical elements are not skimmed over such as the money spent buying new trees and flowers and the battles she faces when her attempts to furnish new life into her gardens don’t go to plan. At one point someone mentions cutting down some trees - this horrifies her and after the incident, she goes around her garden and apologises to the trees individually. You see she cares deeply and this act doesn’t seem absurd in the slightest.

I am only halfway through reading My Garden (Book) so there is still much to process in her writing and also regarding her relationship to nature. Currently, she is living in a house that was owned by the photographer which feels quite fitting! So I have been writing quite a few notes recently and I am working to start interviewing artists/writers/photographers/environmentalists about how nature is integrated into their life and practice.

Kincaid has also prompted me to think about what avenues I want to go down with my own practice. Will be something journalistic, personal, and reflective of the conflicting relationship with a place that has been enriched by the legacy of slavery and colonialism or will I choose to be more direct and address this history and by acknowledging it I can then reframe the narrative that reaffirms my belonging in UK.

I always find non-fiction writing more inspiring sometimes than academic writing, the narrative and the personal are easier to latch onto and I take strength from seeing someone similar to me thinking and processing similar ideas to myself. Makes me feel less alone.


Collages of trees in Brockwell Park - June 2021

Collages of trees in Brockwell Park - June 2021


Collages of trees in Brockwell Park - June 2021

Collages of trees in Brockwell Park - June 2021


Collages of trees in Brockwell Park - June 2021

Collages of trees in Brockwell Park - June 2021


Collages of trees in Brockwell Park - June 2021

Collages of trees in Brockwell Park - June 2021

Coming back to the beginning again

It has been a while since I went on a walk around Brockwell park with my camera, not since late winter.

Seeing the park in full bloom made me feel that those initial photos I had taken for my WIP 2021 were from another era, my mood has shifted slightly but I can still feel and even see the echos of myself pacing the park with a couple of cameras around my next, wrapped up and struggling to keep warm.

Now in the full blast of summer, I was back in the lushness of nature and all of the resplendent glory that makes you grateful for nature and the stimulus it provides. I was here with a group from PhotoFusion as part of its Step-Up programme, we initially met at the gallery and walked down together. We were each given an Ilford HP5 Plus - 35mm disposable Film Camera to use. I gave a short introduction to my practice and in particular my exploration of nature in my practice.

I explained to them what I wanted them when they reached the park and encouraged them to capture at a slower pace than they usually would. I even read them some poetry, and it wasn’t so cringing (hopefully). They all seemed eager and keen to get involved, and it was nice to be around people and talk about photography. I was also aware that it had been a while since I had been around people on a photo walk, all memories of previous ventures had been solitary outings which again changed my perspective. I wonder if it could be possible to do a project around photo-walking? Setting a tone of the walk with a poem or thought to reflect upon?

I’ve been writing many thoughts down and the work made that day will be considered as part of my research - the experience provoked me to think about the collective experience of photography outside of my private thoughts and hopefully the group appreciated putting themselves in a different state of mind. It was a sweltering day so it was challenging to not get overwhelmed by the heat but they did well and I was pleasantly surprised with my results.

This experience also made me reflect on the relationship of my WIP 2021 project to this blog, I can make a connection between the two, and one can provide provocations and ways for me to explore certain ideas. Whatever the outcome, the process will still be useful for me to be constantly editing and questioning the decisions I am making.

I will start reflecting more on portraiture as well as this is something that I want to introduce back into the project and I will initiate this with some self-portraits in a few months.


Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.

Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.


Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.

Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.


Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.

Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.


Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.

Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.


Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.

Photos below were made in Brockwell Park during a workshop with Photofusion’s Step Up programme.

GRIEF, PLACE, LANDSCAPE – A contradiction of sorts by Marie Smith - reflections on a commission for The Clearing

I was recently commissioned by Simon Moreton to write a piece for The Clearing titled Grief, Place, Landscape - A contradictions of sort. The brief was open and it gave me an opportunity to reflect on the contradictions and conflicting feelings that I have about my relationship with nature and the environment.

Personally, I have been trying to counter my carbon footprint and I am trying to be sustainable in the products that I use in my flat. I am slowly trying to transition to become a Vegan, most of my diet is Vegetarian but I am hoping that I can fully transition to Veganism. At some point.

This means that I am developing a deeper and more sincere understanding of the environment, but this is a slight digression from my commission from The Clearing. But back to point at hand…. the piece is written from a position of contradiction and confusion. Here, I was sat in a hotel in Cumbria in early May working on another commission, in an unfamiliar place but I was excited by the prospect of exploring a new location.

I was alone and this was an unfamiliar feeling and context for me to explore a new place. This brought lots of feelings and negging reoccurring fears that come to me when I find myself alone in nature. The threat of violence and the feeling that I would look out of place to some, as a Black woman is a constant whirling loop that goes through my mind. At times my body becomes tens, I put it down to carrying my heavy camera but I think it’s my anxiety turning my body into stone

It’s not the place or landscape that I fear, it’s mostly the people and their attitudes that put me in a position of fear, racism and sexism are daily battles that I face but this is heightened when I am alone and outside of London. I am trying to sit with this feeling and the contradictions that come with my relationship with nature.

All this came out in a flurry and I was glad that I was able to articulate feelings and positions of the current context of my relationship with nature and, specifically with the landscape of England. All of this is feeding into my identity which seems to be shifting and filtering through to my practice.

Many thanks to Simon and The Clearing for providing me with the space to reflect and flesh out my thoughts


Photos from my WIP 2021 project - photos of trees in Brockwell Park, South London

Photos from my WIP 2021 project - photos of trees in Brockwell Park, South London


Photos from my WIP 2021 project - photos of trees in Brockwell Park, South London

Photos from my WIP 2021 project - photos of trees in Brockwell Park, South London


Photos from my WIP 2021 project - photos of trees in Brockwell Park, South London

Photos from my WIP 2021 project - photos of trees in Brockwell Park, South London


Photos from my WIP 2021 project - photos of trees in Brockwell Park, South London

Photos from my WIP 2021 project - photos of trees in Brockwell Park, South London

I have been thinking about using myself in my work again. I've forgotten how to take photos of myself

I used to make work about my experience and process, regarding my mental health and nature. Over the past year or so I have shifted focus and this had led me to take fewer portraits of myself. To the point that I now feel anxious and awkward being in front of the camera.

In an attempt to shift this awkwardness I made some self-portraits while rising my partner’s family in Mazury/Poland in September 2020. During this visit, I found myself walking with my partner through the forest of Muzury and it was a lovely experience, with no distractions.

No phone reception, which meant that we had no internet, and we rarely came across anyone. We were alone and this nourishing and the stillness was something that I was not familiar with.

One day we went mushroom picking and I found myself wanting to take some self-portraits, playing with the mushrooms - on this occasion, I didn’t feel self-conscious and I enjoyed having something to focus on (mushroom) rather than the performance of being in front of the camera. I gave myself a task, to balance the mushroom on my face to find myself engaging with an element that came from the earth.

As part of my research I feel I need to involve myself in the process more and putting myself in front of the camera would be beneficial in working out what methodologies would work the best, the idea is to work with people of colour but I feel I need to be more specific and nuanced in my approach.

I’m also not dismissing the idea that I could make a series about myself again, touching on my relationship with nature and perhaps less of a focus on trauma/mental health which has been part of my previous work.

More wellbeing perhaps?

My next step is to make a list of artists/writers/organisations that I could interview which will help and also to do more research on photographers, women, and particularly with a focus on performance within nature or incorporating nature.

A good starting point is An Mendieta’s 1970’s series Silueta and her practice of ‘Earth Art’.


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Shifting focus

After an intense interview for a Ph.D., I have been thinking about the questions that have been posed to me and the context of my nature. I have a habit of doing too much and trying g to get different strings of ideas together to create something new. This means that my research can be sporadic and chaotic which is not something I ever thought I was.

However this makes sense as someone with the neurodiverse community (I am Dyspraxic) I sometimes find it hard to focus and compartmentalise my ideas, this is something that I’d like to focus on and I believe the DYCP grant will help me do this.

So, what to decide now? It seems I have two avenues to pursue, one is nature and mental health and the impact that eco-anxiety has on communities of colour. With fragmented patches of land/parks which are in the control of local councils, some park has been closed to local communities or in disrepair.

Another pathway is nature and belonging, exploring what is nature and how can we access this with so few opportunities due to money or having no access to a car/train. Feeling overwhelmed by lack of equipment of ideas that nature and English landscape is inherently hostile.

I also feel that I have perhaps not been thinking about what exactly I am going to visualise my research, will it be in the form of photographs? Of people or places? Or will be films or interviews? How do I see myself working in analogue or digital?

I will be looking into making my practice moire sustainable and have bookmarked some courses that I would like to go to, being able to invest in my practice will help me feel more confident and I hope to refine my thought processes more. I’ve also booked a spot to visit Stuart Hall Library which excites me, it’s been a while and I miss the quiet and contemplation that a library offers.

I will also aim to do a post at least once a week over the new few months. This will also help me focus and force me to verbalise my process to myself and also to you.


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An introduction to my research into environmentalism

This blog will be a space for me to reflect on my research as well as document who I am talking to, what I am reading, and who I am making images of - whether that be people or places. I will be engaging with a myriad of methods to inform myself and my practice.

In April 2021, I was awarded a Developing your Creative Practice (DYCP) grant to research the impact of environmentalism on people of colour, a subject that is new to me but is something that I have been wishing to investigate in my practice. As a Black woman living in a polluted city, I know that I and other communities of colour will be disproportionately affected by climate change and pollution.

I will spend the next six months researching and engaging with this topic and seeing how nature and environmentalism can be engaging people from communities of colour. I want to find people in my local community of Brixton, South London to see how they think and feel about climate change.

As a Visual Artist whose primary medium is analogue photography, I believe that I must take responsibility for finding more sustainable ways in my practice. Again, this will help me renew and engage with methods that can be utilised to make my practice more creative as well as cost-saving whilst trying to minimalise my impact on the environment.

I will be using my experience with project managing Whispering for help to network with communities in Brixton and beyond. I have found a plethora of resources on social media and it has been great to see people of colour working to decolonise nature and environmentalism. I will be going to practical workshops and will find ways to make environmentalism engaging and relevant to people of colour.

I suspect I will make mistakes and will find the prospect daunting at times but I am ready to begin a new chapter and to find a way to communicate the importance of climate change and environmentalism, this subject is beyond urgent for me and for people from my community.


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