Memories are not trustworthy, I should know that by now.
On a recent trip to Seven Sisters, I went back to find this tree and to recreate a moment that is now over two years old, I remembered the location and I even spotted another previous image I had captured back in April 2019.
However, this elusive tree was not what I remembered and had become something else. This tree seemed to be swamped by a rouge bush and looked smaller and not so - glorious. The tree looked smaller and incoherent. At that moment I felt deflated but also silly as of course why wouldn’t the situation had changed, that’s not how nature works. It doesn’t stand still for anyone, it has its own rules and ecosystem that has nothing to do with me and my photographic aspirations.
In fact, I feel that this has been a good lesson for me and what I am trying to do with my research, I am searching for a place to belong, a landscape that feels familiar and that resonates with me. This trip was not a mistake but it was a lesson for me to be more articulate and reflective on what I am trying to do.
I don’t regret going and I now know that I must be more succinct in my working method, in particular in my search for a place to develop a relationship with, inspired by Roni Horn’s Island Zombie and Jamaica Kincaid’s My Book (Garden), both women have created a nuanced and in-depth relationship with their respective locations; Horn (Iceland) and Kincaid (Vermont, USA) and I am searching for this in the UK, trying to think and see beyond London if possible.
The search continues and I am not ruling out staying in London and trying to find somewhere local but I would like to challenge myself and my perception of the home which has to mean, looking beyond London.
Lone tree in East Sussex, original image made in April 2019. ©Marie Smith
The image below shows some go the 120 film negatives from my trip to Seven Sisters, I did manage to capture some images even though I was feeling deflated that day, uninspired, and overwhelmed by the heat. I have started a course at South London Gallery on Wednesday - SLG Skills: Photographic Printmaking course which is about learning sustainable film practices. This course is being run by The Sustainable Darkroom and the workshop was led by Eileen White - we had to bring our own plant-based developer which I made from tomato plant leaves which are being nurtured with care by my partner - Maciej.
My first attempt was not great (example below) but this workshop after one session has been a revelation for me and has made me realise that I was missing an element to my processes. This is something that I will elaborate on further in further posts but I am still processing what I have learnt this week, but this learning curve is improving my confidence - particularly with darkroom processes and I feel that something is definitely changing with my work and I am happy to embrace what comes next.
120 black and white film negatives developed home made plant based developer, this time from home grown Tomato plant tree leaves. This was my first time developing 120, was very happy that the results were success. Images from trip to Seven Sisters and also from a view from my flat in Brixton. ©Marie Smith
First attempt of plant based developer processed during workshop on Wednesday 21st July, some mistakes were made but I am still instruct in seeing the results, especially regarding the damaged frames from the film.