After a year and a half of lockdowns due to the pandemic, which involved not being around anyone (except my partner) for a long period of time; I have had two trips recently, with two different friendship groups. One is an old friend of over 10 years and the other is a more recent friendship that has to fruition over the past two years or so.
In early August, I went on a walking trip with Ameena Rojee and Aster Reem David. I had known Aster for a couple of years since she participated in my project Whispering for help.
Since, then we have cultivated a strong friendship, supportive and reciprocal as we navigate the world as two photographers and women of colour with an interest in nature and ecology in our practice.
This felt strange thinking about it but this was the first time I had met Ameena, we had been speaking for a few months via email. This had then been extended to a WhatsApp group between the three of us, which then moved online, and finally, we met in person.
Meeting Ameena felt very normal, it was not strange at all and the three of us resonated well. Ameena and Aster do have more energy than me and I think I was the quietest of the three of us.
We met at Chilworth station which was accessible to all of us via train and car, we set off for a walk around the Gunpowder Mills that once resided in the area. A once thriving community that provided ammunition for the UK has now been left bare but with elements of the structured, gaps for us to project our own narratives and preconceived ideas about the residents and their existence.
As three photographers we were not offended when one of us strolled off in mid-conversation to capture an image and we also acted as models for each other, the weather was a bit dreary but this did not stop us from making the most of the situation and it was an enjoyable walk.
I was surprised by the variety of the location that we came across in Chilworth, deep forest, green ferns, sandy walking paths, and a church at the top of a massive hill that seemed quaint. I did not expect this from a place only an hour outside of London but this is a testament to the variety that the UK has.
The walking paths were sometimes hard to negotiate and we were prohibited from entering certain spaces or given a warning if we came across a precarious path.
Access to land in the UK is not spoken about much, although we are under the impression that there is plenty of space for us to explore, realistically most of it is fenced off and used for farmland or private property. I recently bought a book by Guy Shrubsole which addresses the history of land ownership and how we - the 99% who don’t own land can reclaim agency over these segregated areas.
Once I have read this book I will be reflecting on this more, as knowing this information now, I cannot ignore it and the implications it has on my relationship with the landscape of the UK.
One thing that was different for me, not just being in a group but also being around other people of colour in a non-city environment. This might have looked unusual to some and I did clock some people looking at us longer than usual or adjusting their body language when we walked towards them. I did wonder what the difference would have been if we were white or if we didn’t have our cameras.
Having Aster and Ameena with me did provide me with some solace - a way to feel connected to a community also I didn’t feel scared or anxious as I knew they would not leave me and we were conscious of how we negotiated the landscape as a group and as individuals.
I felt safe.
The next challenge for me is to do a walk like this by myself, again. I spoke about my relationship with nature in an earlier blog in which I documented work and I am making work around this subject as part of West Coast Photo Festival. This experience was positive and I will be working towards building up my confidence to do a photo walk by myself.
One thing that I think I need to consider is how my body and spirit are connected with the landscape. Having a camera is actually very distracting and you can lose that tangled connection to the land as your brain is engaging in other activities. I also think that it would be worth me addressing some anxieties around safety and my consciousness of what I want and what I need to work towards, not just within my practice but within myself.
Self portrait made in Dungeness, developed at home with plant based materials, August 2021, ©Marie Smith
A few weeks later I went on another trip, again not far from London to a place in East Sussex called Bodiam which is close to Hasting. I went camping with my partner Maciej and two of my friends and another couple Laura and Reuben. I had known Laura for over ten years and Reuben for six years. This was my first time camping since my friend’s 30th birthday which was seven years ago.
The pandemic meant that there has been no opportunity to go away abroad, although I am double vaccinated I am aware of the many variants developing and I still believe that precautions need to be taken until the majority of the world is fully vaccinated.
The camping in Bodiam was very different and also much less about me being a photographer with a camera and more about me being on holiday, although this didn’t stop me from bringing two cameras and lots of colour and black and white film.
The weather was atrocious so we didn’t actually spend much time in Bodiam which was a shame but as Reuben and Laura had a car we went on explorations not far - to Dungeness, Camber Sands, and Bexhill-On-Sea. The coastal locations were varied and also provided different experiences, blaring sunshine in Dungeness and Bexhill but the hostility of wind bound all of the locations together.
Visiting Dungeness was a highlight as we went to Dereck Jarmen’s home - Prospect Cottage. Dungeness is like no other place I had been to before in the UK, it was sublime and very strange. The landscape was rocky, with no tall buildings, trees, or soil. Boats littered the landscape and you would find plant life in abundance flourishing under the rocky surface, it was truly stunning to see plant life thriving in a location that looked bleak. Everyone lived in fisherman-style cottages, some fancier than others.
The nuclear power station was an ominous presence and one of the tallest buildings around, we spotted a few lighthouses and walked towards them, not getting any closer and being beaten down by the constant wind we changed tracks and walked further down the road before stopping for lunch where we rested. It was not cold and despite the wind, the sun felt warm and we all left with a slight glow from our walk.
Being at Prospect Cottage and seeing the care and attention that Jarmen had taken into cultivating his home led me to think again about Jamaica Kincaid’s garden in Vermont, with gardens there is a philosophy and intention behind them that is meant to be communicated to you.
This never occurred to me until recently. It’s weird! Just how you can overlook so much.
Jarmen’s garden consisted of circular congregations of plants and perennials - hardy plant life that could withstand the weather during the changing season. The smell and colours were a triumph and he also intertwined bits of metals and iron into sculptures that intertwined with the plant life and were not in tension with it.
Being here made me think about my interview with Season Butler and her talking about what we consider to be ‘nature’ ‘not nature’ and that Jarmen’s garden was a perfect symphony of this juxtaposition, Jarmen had made a deliberate attempt, not to this distinction and walking around the garden you would never think the corroded iron sculptures looked out of place, in fact, they added vibrancy and colour. Burnt red, orange, and deep browns remind me these materials are a part of nature.
There is no distinction.
I recently started to read Modern Nature a diary that Jarmen wrote whilst living and finessing Prospect Cottage over the course of two years after his diagnosis with HIV in the late 1980s. Like Kincaid, Jarmen reflects on his childhood and his introduction ton to plant life and nature and how this has impacted how he views his home and garden at Prospect Cottage.
The personal account also provides me with more insight into his day-to-day grind with the garden and, the various storms and changes of weather that he had to grapple with. Like Kincaid talking about her plant seed trip to China and how her garden would deteriorate in cold winter months in Vermont, I felt that the garden told me a lot about them and about their identities.
So this trip was very different from Chilworth, I felt more of an internal conversation happening, more threads have been coming together and the different experiences have shown more light onto what I have still to learn and grapple with.
I am not sure where my practice is heading and I am trying not to get caught up with that yet, being present in the moment is more important and is providing me with lots of consideration.
Dereck Jarmen’s garden, Prospect Cottage, August 2021 ©Marie Smith
Dereck Jarmen’s garden, Prospect Cottage, August 2021 ©Marie Smith
This collage is made from a set of different self portrait’s that were developed at home with plant based developer (Tomato plant leaves).
I made a mistake with developing the film but I have decided to embrace the error and work with instead of against the image. Self portraits taken in Derek Jarmen’s garden at Prospect Cottage, Dungeness, ©Marie Smith, August 2021
